I was trying to set up a meeting with a business owner recently. Every attempt ran into the same wall, a calendar packed for weeks. And when he tried to bring in his senior team, it became an even bigger challenge. Eventually he pulled rank to make it happen, not because everyone genuinely had space, but because that was the only way to cut through the clutter.

This is not unusual. Anyone in the business world recognizes this pattern of leaders racing from one meeting to the next, convinced that every slot on their calendar is “essential.” But essential for what?

What I often see is senior people burying themselves in the kind of work that keeps them in control, micromanaging decisions far below their pay grade, staying involved in everything so nothing moves without their nod. It is a way of managing, but also a way to control.

We have built a culture that treats control like a virtue. The messages are everywhere, try harder, do more, stay on top of everything. As if effort equals worth. As if control guarantees success. But what if that is the illusion?

You can discipline your schedule, optimise every hour, fill every gap. Yet the tighter you hold life, the faster it slips away, like trying to hold water in a clenched fist.

We label it ambition or productivity, but underneath, there lies fear. Fear of slowing down and of letting go. Fear that if we stop running, even for a moment, we will fall behind.

The irony is that the more we try to perfect life, the further we drift from actually living it. The more we force outcomes, the more fragile they become.

And maybe the real leadership test is how much open space you can tolerate. How much uncertainty you can hold without filling every minute.

A flexible, accommodating calendar is not a sign of inefficiency, it is a sign of someone secure enough to let life flow, not force it.

Worth thinking about 🤔