I have been pondering the concept of independence. While I see financial and intellectual independence as important I feel true independence means breaking free from the need to seek validation from others.

Our society puts a lot of emphasis on getting approval from strangers through physical cues (like clothes, cars, and homes), attention-seeking (likes on social media), and moral signalling (thinking we are better than others).

All these actions involve comparing ourselves to others’ opinions, which can make us feel like our worth is based on how others think. But here is the thing; no one has time to think about us! They are too busy thinking about themselves!

Even when people do think about us, it is usually in the context of their own lives. For example, when someone compliments your outfit, they are more likely to think about how it would look on them. And when you see someone driving a fancy car, you are not thinking about how cool the driver is. You are more likely thinking about how cool you would look driving it 😎

True independence frees us from this silly burden. But it does not mean that we do not care about others’ opinions. It just means we have the power to choose who we want to listen to.

I love and admire my family and friends, and enjoy spending time with a few close friends. I also want to have good relationships with a few people I admire in my professional life. All these people are important to me and their opinions ought to matter.

We exercise independence by choosing who to include in our lives and rather than trying to please everyone, we get to live the life we want and focus our energies on a smaller group of people who are truly important to us.

Worth thinking about 😊