I was in a meeting recently where voices slowly began to rise. Disagreement turned into argument. Argument turned into noise. A few people tried to calm things down, and then, almost quietly, they became part of the noise themselves.

I stayed mostly silent. But it stirred something in me. Because I have been there, more so in my younger days. I have reacted instead of responded and I have let emotion lead instead of good judgment. And like most of us, I have regretted it later!

In today’s world, we are taught that strength is visible and loud. That authority means the last word. That leadership shows up in volume and dominance. But real strength, the kind that actually builds teams, cultures, and companies, is almost silent. It shows up in restraint, in patience and in the ability to stay grounded when pressure is high.

In the workplace, provocation is not always obvious. Sometimes it comes as ego. Sometimes as politics. Sometimes as unfair criticism. But the goal is the same, to pull you into someone else’s storm. And if you allow yourself to become like others, they have already won.

The moment you abandon your values to win an argument you have already lost something far more valuable – your character as a leader.

Calm leaders operate at a different level. They do not escalate issues, nor do they take everything personally. They do not fight on others’ terms and refuse to be drawn into unnecessary arguments.

Reaction is easy. Anyone can fire back. Anyone can dominate a room. Anyone can gossip afterwards. But deciding not to do any of these and choosing calm over chaos, that is rare.

That calm creates safety. It builds trust. Instead of enjoying superficial victories with moments of revenge, a calm leader exercises self-control to build meaningful legacies.

And in leadership, this rare calm is what separates good from the truly great.

Worth thinking about 🤔